Kristina Rienzi

Author & Certified Professional Coach

Kristina Rienzi’s Blog

Lessons Learned

Life

With the global pandemic practically over (per the world opening back up), it’s the perfect time to reflect on what we’ve learned this past year.

We’ve had as many highs as lows and (hopefully) finally landed on a soft cushion in the middle. Many changes have happened in our lives, including our priorities being reset without our permission. We have to make decisions where we can, and the first is MINDSET.

Take this next year to become the person you were always meant to be: the REAL you. The one hidden under a mask, hand sanitizer, and unprecedented fear. The one ready to come out of their cocoon and emerge a unique and beautiful butterfly.

Let’s NEVER go back to pre-pandemic ways of life. Whizzing by without enjoying the present moment. Working more than playing. Taking loved ones for granted. Worrying about things that don’t truly matter.

The sacrifices and suffering over the last year were not in vain. Many lessons were learned, not to be forgotten.

Let’s move forward in life a little slower, a little kinder, a little happier. Lead with gratitude. Judge less. Love more.

Here are some of my takeaways, lessons learned from the last year. I hope they resonate with you, and if not, I encourage you to make a list of your own to remember how far you’ve come.

  • Love is more powerful than fear. When in doubt, choose LOVE!
  • In case of emergency, SMILE.
  • It’s okay to not be okay. Nothing lasts forever.
  • Give to give and never to receive. Generosity is the gift we give ourselves.
  • Life is tragically short. Be present for all the moments along the way. Those moments are your life.
  • Look for the good in people. If you can’t find it, look away and don’t look back.
  • Control is a myth. You have as much control over life as you do stopping an asteroid from hitting the Earth. Instead, sit back and enjoy the ride.
  • Celebrate the moments, big and small. Don’t let anything stop you from finding pleasure in the successes and good fortune that come your way, be it from hard work or luck. Either way, you deserve it!
  • Take care of yourself. Your life is the most critical life there is. Do whatever you can to keep your mind, body, and soul healthy so you can be around for years and years to come. Your loved ones will thank you.
  • This life is worth living, no matter how difficult it seems at times. You are perfect, and you are LOVED.

Together, let’s put this year behind us and move on to what we must believe will be the best year yet! You’ve got this! I’m here for you!

 

Motivation Now

Life, Wellness

The unofficial start to summer is here! I’m usually all about the beach and relaxation. I’ve been waiting all winter to feel sand under my feet and hear waves crashing. With the pandemic practically behind us (I hope!), I should be ready to get out and do all the things I’ve been reluctant to do over the past year.

Yet, I can’t help but feel terrible about all the things I DIDN’T do over the last year. Mainly writing. It’s been a SLOW go. I’ve made some progress, but it’s been like pulling teeth. Something else was constantly dragging me away, and I’ve succumbed to the pressure time and time again.

Now, with NJ opened up and time away from home (AT THE BEACH!) scheduled every weekend, guilt is hitting me HARD. I need MOTIVATION NOW!

The truth is, what I need more is balance. A little bit of compassion to give myself a break, mixed with some drive to hold myself accountable for results, will equal motivation. The last year has been challenging on many levels, and now it’s time to step up and do what I set out to do: FINISH MY BOOK!

So I’ve taken action: THIS COACH WILL BE COACHED! I recognize my need to work on myself. I need to get out of my own way, stop holding myself back and become TRULY accountable for my actions, or lack thereof. It’s time to get what I want. I can have it all: beach relaxation AND book completion. It just takes one thing: MINDSET.

If you’re like me and can’t find the motivation to meet your goals or even do the bare minimum, it’s okay. You’ll get there. Do like me, give yourself a break but also hold yourself accountable. It doesn’t take much…just ONE step in the direction of your dreams every single day. Before you know it, you’ll be there!

There’s absolutely a time for rest and a time for doing stuff. I’m not negating the value of taking time off. It’s CRITICAL to your health and future performance. But, if you find yourself in a slump, making one forward move may be all it takes to get you back on track to finding your motivation.

Go ahead! Get your motivation (and balance) on NOW! I’ll be cheering you on the whole way! I’m here for you!

Comment to share your perspective. I’d love to hear from you! 

One Day Isn’t Enough

Life

You’re Not Meant To Do It All  

It’s Monday, and already your week hasn’t gone as planned. You never ran that errand. Your laundry is still piled up in the basket. Your mail is in disarray on the counter. And worst of all, you missed your nail appointment (or maybe that’s me). You’re running yourself ragged trying to do it all, and you can’t. Here’s why: you’re not meant to do it ALL in ONE day.

One day isn’t enough.

I lived my life thinking that there’s was no way anything would get done unless I did it. And, of course, I must do it ALL right NOW. Not tomorrow. Not next week. TODAY. My responsibilities are somehow lumped into the current day’s To-Do-List and then spill over day-to-day.

When I have to stare at the same tasks day after day, I feel like a failure because I couldn’t accomplish my goals for ONE day.

The truth is, an entire page of things to do is TOO MUCH for one person to accomplish in one day. Now, I’m no underachiever. These days, I’m working non-stop between work and home life, even more, go-go-go with the pandemic. I must be productive, right? Yet, somehow, I’m unable to address even a quarter of the things on my list. Why is that? Because I have TOO MANY daily tasks.

To be productive and get things done, I limit my daily tasks to three items maximum. Too small of a number? You’ll never get anything done in a week? To that, I say, nonsense! You’re busy. You have distractions. And, sometimes, you want to just chill and veg out. You need to eat, and you need to relax. If you give yourself too many things to do in one day, that will NEVER happen. If you keep your mega daily list and only accomplish five out of the twenty items, you’ll still feel like a failure.

But what if you took those twenty items and spread them over the week? Does accomplishing three things a day seem to make more sense? See how you’ll reach your goal? Then if you do five, guess what? You’re a rock star! Wouldn’t it be better to feel like a rock star than a failure? See where I’m going with this?

Perspective Is Everything

Perspective is everything, and so is organization. Take it one week at a time. Sit down and make a list of all of your WEEKLY To-Dos. Then assign them a day and, if you’re like me, a time to focus on them. I promise you’ll get them done as planned and feel fantastic. It’s a win-win all around.

Let It Go

Of course, if something comes up, as it always does, and you get ZERO done on a particular day, let it go (like Elsa says). We all have off days. Just split your tasks across the rest of the week and, most importantly, don’t beat yourself up over it. You’re not a failure. You’re amazing. It’s time you started feeling like the rock star you are!

Comment if you’re willing to share your perspective. I’d love to hear from you! 

You Are Not Alone

Grief, Life

happy mothers day card beside pen macaroons flowers and box near coffee cup with saucer
Photo by Giftpundits.com on Pexels.com

With Mother’s Day coming, celebrations of joy and love may also accompany grief if you’ve experienced loss. This is your reminder that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

I’m no stranger to grief. I’ve been grieving loved ones, young and old, since childhood, some from which I’ve never truly healed. Still, nothing could have prepared me for the most significant loss of my life, my mom.

I’ll never forget when the doctors told us that my mom was terminally ill. My mom and I, holding hands, exploded into tears. She said she couldn’t die because I needed her and I loved her so much. We shared our deep love for each other and agreed I would be okay, NO MATTER WHAT. Because like any mother, her child was her primary concern.

I couldn’t imagine EVER losing her. She was my mom, and your mom never dies.

Knowing my mom was sick, I prepared for her not being here anymore. I cemented her face, her touch, the sound of her voice into my memory. Yet nothing and no one could have prepared me for her death, not even me.

The moment she passed away, I knew I’d never be the same. I’d miss her and grieve her forever.

And only one week later, I faced my first Mother’s Day without her. As unbearable as it seemed, I made it through in a fog. I experienced the whole gamut of emotions from fear to anger to sheer desperation. I also found unexpected strength underneath it all. I rely on that strength and the love we shared, above all on every Mother’s Day since.

Where there is great love, there is great grief. With a loss, you need to give yourself time to reconcile it in your own unique way, whatever that means for you. Grief is personal and without rules.

Even though it seems like finding happiness again, especially on days like Mother’s Day, is impossible, remember that at the heart of grief is LOVE.

Living a life of love is a beautiful way to honor your loved one. Find the strength to go on, to enjoy pieces of your life, one day at a time. Grab onto the tiny moments in between your tears, find peace in your memories, and treasure it all.

Every year I honor my mom on Mother’s Day, doing things she would want to do if she were still here. Beyond that, every day, I try to honor my mom in every kind word, every thoughtful act, and every piece of my heart that I give away. Because that’s what she would have done and what she would want me to do.

Whether you have a mom here or in Heaven, celebrate her this Mother’s Day! Honor her in whatever way that brings you joy and peace. And know, you are not alone. I’m here for you!

If you can relate to this post, or have your own story to share, please comment. I’d love to hear from you.

 

Schedule Relaxation First

Wellness

Anyone who knows me will agree that I’m a planner in every sense of the word. My Law of Attraction Planner is already marked up through year-end, with my iCal mirroring it in digital form. I’m as busy as the next person because let’s face it: it isn’t happening if I don’t write it down.

From the outside, it looks like I have it all covered. I’m on top of my game. But, if you look beyond all the meetings and appointments, you’ll see there’s no room left in my day to schedule the most important activity of all: relaxation.

Suppose you have time to schedule events in your life, like going to the doctor or a video chat with a friend. Then, you absolutely have time to plan for your relaxation. You may not think relaxing is essential, but consider what would happen if you were out of commission because you were burnt out and run down. All of those critical tasks that you’ve jotted down in your planner would fall to the wayside or (at worst, if you’re a control freak like I am) get delegated to someone else to handle.

The only way around this is to do things in the reverse direction from what you’ve been taught. Be proactive. Schedule your relaxation time FIRST.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve lived your life ensuring all of your responsibilities were a priority. Work. Bills. Family. Especially BEFORE you took care of yourself. A manicure isn’t nearly as important as doing the laundry, right? So put it off, and eventually, if you’re lucky, you’ll be caught up on the grocery shopping. You can FINALLY have the half-hour you’ve craved to do something for yourself.

That thinking is backward. Reverse your mindset completely.

YOU need to be first on your list. No, it’s not selfish. It’s ESSENTIAL. If you don’t get the restoration YOU need for your mental-spiritual-emotional-physical (etc.) health, you’ll be unable to handle your responsibilities. Worse, you won’t be able to be there for those who need you the most, at work and at home.

The answer is simple: SCHEDULE RELAXATION FIRST.

Yes, that means before everything else!

When looking at your weekly agenda, make sure you fill in the slots for relaxation FIRST. Schedule a thirty-minute timeslot DAILY for a relaxing activity. Whether it’s a hot bath, watching a show you love, reading a few chapters of a book, choose anything that allows your mind and body to destress from the day.

If you don’t schedule them IN WRITING (in your planner, on your phone, a post-it…whatever works for you), they will NEVER happen. You’re more likely to do something you’ve set aside time for in advance than just ‘fitting it in.’ As busy as you are, when will you find time to fit in anything?

If you have an appointment, chances are you tend to stick with it. That’s why doctors want you to put your annual physical exam on the calendar before the end of the year. It’s not just for planning and time management purposes. If they allowed walk-in physicals, no one would show up.

As with your health and wellness, the same is true for relaxation. If you don’t set aside the time for it, other things will get in the way, and it will never happen.

Before long, weeks will have gone by. By the time you do relax, you won’t feel refreshed. You’ll just need more time to rest because you’re exhausted. Suppose you get ahead of it and make it a priority. In that case, you’ll be better able to sustain a busy life, be productive and find the restoration you need regularly.

Remember, as hard as it is to do, PUT YOURSELF FIRST. Make it a priority to schedule time for relaxation daily. Whether it’s to spend time with those you love, read a book or get a manicure, schedule it on your calendar before you plan anything else. When taking care of yourself is first on your list, everything else will fall into place.

You’ll not only be productive, but you’ll have the stamina to be there for the people in your life who need you most.

And if you find you’re struggling, it’s okay. You’re human. I promise, you’ve got this, and I’m here for you! 

Comment if you’re willing to share your perspective. I’d love to hear from you! 

One Day at a Time

Coaching, Inspiration, Life, Wellness

For the last pandemic year, I found myself saying the phrase, “one day at a time,” in response to anyone who was struggling. It’s a mindset that has helped me through some of my darkest days and often became one-second-at-a-time to survive. I consider it a deliberate, doable action plan that pulls you into the present moment where you can be successful in small increments and feel good about that along the way.

When COVID-19 left life so uncertain, taking things day-by-day was a reasonable way to live. As with other challenges in life, each day brings its own unknowns and is also an opportunity to move closer, even if by millimeters, to our goals.

This mantra reminded me of a book I read a while back where the main character had many crippling addictions that drove him to the brink of suicide and insanity. He was on the verge of losing everything, including his life. Worse, he was in complete denial that his habits were actual addictions, even though he admitted he couldn’t last one moment without thinking about them. In the story, when a recovering addict explained that he had been sober for thirteen years, the main character was astonished. He couldn’t imagine abstaining from his addictions for even one day, let alone over a decade. The recovering addict said it was easy. He never committed to a life of sobriety; he only committed to being sober for ONE DAY. One day became the next day, and the day after, until every day for thirteen years, he was still sober.

That was powerful, and it resonated with me. After all, all we have is one day: today. The past is gone, and the future isn’t here yet, so living in TODAY makes total sense.

The trick is to take this concept and translate it into action. We all know how hard it is to meet a long-term goal. Losing the extra weight and keeping it off…for good. Exercising until we are fit enough to run that marathon. The dream we’re chasing is one we want so desperately, but it always seems to be one foot out of reach.

I happen to be a person who is motivated by long-term goals. I want my experience to be so challenging that when I’m finally rewarded, there is no doubt that I earned it. Yet even for someone like me, traveling down long and difficult roads gets exhausting. Sometimes you want to get out of your car and hop into a spaceship that transports you to your destination instantaneously.

Like any worthwhile goal, book-writing is a time-consuming and strenuous process. I struggle with it daily amid the pandemic and new life as a mom. But with this mantra in my back pocket, I do a little something every day, no matter how small, to get there. And when I look back, I’ll know exactly how I managed to write a seemingly impossible book, as you will with your goal.

No matter how long the road, how difficult the journey, never give up on your dreams. YOU CAN DO IT.

One day at a time.