With Mother’s Day coming, celebrations of joy and love may also accompany grief if you’ve experienced loss. This is your reminder that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
I’m no stranger to grief. I’ve been grieving loved ones, young and old, since childhood, some from which I’ve never truly healed. Still, nothing could have prepared me for the most significant loss of my life, my mom.
I’ll never forget when the doctors told us that my mom was terminally ill. My mom and I, holding hands, exploded into tears. She said she couldn’t die because I needed her and I loved her so much. We shared our deep love for each other and agreed I would be okay, NO MATTER WHAT. Because like any mother, her child was her primary concern.
I couldn’t imagine EVER losing her. She was my mom, and your mom never dies.
Knowing my mom was sick, I prepared for her not being here anymore. I cemented her face, her touch, the sound of her voice into my memory. Yet nothing and no one could have prepared me for her death, not even me.
The moment she passed away, I knew I’d never be the same. I’d miss her and grieve her forever.
And only one week later, I faced my first Mother’s Day without her. As unbearable as it seemed, I made it through in a fog. I experienced the whole gamut of emotions from fear to anger to sheer desperation. I also found unexpected strength underneath it all. I rely on that strength and the love we shared, above all on every Mother’s Day since.
Where there is great love, there is great grief. With a loss, you need to give yourself time to reconcile it in your own unique way, whatever that means for you. Grief is personal and without rules.
Even though it seems like finding happiness again, especially on days like Mother’s Day, is impossible, remember that at the heart of grief is LOVE.
Living a life of love is a beautiful way to honor your loved one. Find the strength to go on, to enjoy pieces of your life, one day at a time. Grab onto the tiny moments in between your tears, find peace in your memories, and treasure it all.
Every year I honor my mom on Mother’s Day, doing things she would want to do if she were still here. Beyond that, every day, I try to honor my mom in every kind word, every thoughtful act, and every piece of my heart that I give away. Because that’s what she would have done and what she would want me to do.
Whether you have a mom here or in Heaven, celebrate her this Mother’s Day! Honor her in whatever way that brings you joy and peace. And know, you are not alone. I’m here for you!